Five Years or Five Minutes?

I ran into you,

the other day

for the first time

in almost five years

Pit in my stomach,

the unforeseen red

wreaking bittersweet havoc.

Look at me now!

Look at how much I’ve grown!

Do you ever miss me?

Frozen stance,

and racing mind,

the past colliding into the present,

to you, am I inescapably blind?

So many times

I dreamt of reconnecting.

So many times

I’d almost —

Look at me now!

Look at how much I’ve grown!

Do you ever think about me?

We used to be sisters.

To you, I was special.

Once upon a time,

you both

saw my potential.

A safe place to land,

your absence unbearable

to withstand.

Small talk and big feelings

Oh, how I miss

the way we used to laugh

over

my love of chicken wings.

I ran into you today.

Five years and five minutes,

I cried after you left.

Looking at me now,

is it obvious

how much I’ve missed you?

Looking at how much I’ve grown,

is it clear

how very people-pleasing, I was once prone?

Once family, forever a memory,

I write now, tearfully.

I wasn’t fair

to you or me.

I didn’t know — I couldn’t show

just how much

your friendship saved me.

A jagged place to land,

once amber flecks of comfort — cheer

a greyed happenstance,

…unbearable

to withstand.